The language of appreciation

How important is appreciation to you in the workplace?

I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t like to be appreciated. No one who isn’t pleased when their work is noticed or their ideas are heard. And no one who doesn’t see the connection between appreciation and, for example, employee satisfaction and employee loyalty.

Appreciation is important. Practically everyone knows it. And should there be someone who is rather unfamiliar with the topic, they will find many references to studies on the internet that deal with the importance of appreciation at work.

Nevertheless, I would like to shed some light on the topic. Why? Because you and I probably understand appreciation differently and attach different levels of importance to various things. I call it the language of appreciation. When you and I speak and understand this language, when managers and employees do so, and – surprise – when employees communicate with each other or even with people outside the company – i.e. customers, partners or users – everyone actually wins.

Appreciation at work – a question of perspective

What does appreciation at work mean to you? Or to put it another way, how do you define appreciation?

Perhaps you have a family of four, your daughter wants to study in the US for a semester and the mortgage for your terraced house is relatively high – then you might be most pleased about a higher salary.

Perhaps you are a single parent and have to pick up your son from daycare three times a week at 4:00 p.m. at the latest. In that case, you probably appreciate it when your boss doesn’t drop an urgent task on your desk at 3:30 p.m. or when your colleague doesn’t want to discuss the forecast for the next quarter just as you are putting on your coat.

Perhaps you just sit punctually in the meeting or webinar and wait for the speaker or the boss to start the topic. Instead, he or she waits another two or three minutes for stragglers. Whoever feels appreciated in such situations is probably neither the punctual colleagues nor you. [1]

These three examples alone show that how we feel about appreciation varies greatly. It is personal and context-dependent. And without providing any further examples, it is also situational and temporary. [2] And it can also depend on the form of the day or be an expression of internal competition in the workplace.

Do you remember: the language of appreciation. It is different. But the exciting thing about it, is this: do you know my language and I yours? Does the manager know what language each and every employee speaks? What is the use of rewarding good work performance with a slightly higher salary if the employee has to leave the office on time so that their child does not have to wait for them in front of the closed daycare centre? What is the point of giving an employee a more responsible task if she then has to carry it out in the company office, thereby adding 60 minutes to her journey to the daycare centre, sports club or choir practice?

How do you learn the language of appreciation?

The simple answer to this question is: ask the people involved.

If you know what is important to Mr Meier, you might be able to give it to him. Mr Meier likes to structure things well. Whenever there is a new topic that needs to be thought through together, Mr Meier thrives. Well, then just hand over the task of leading the brainstorming session on the topic, grouping the ideas that have been found or planning the exchange in advance.

If you know that Ms Balzer prefers to work in a small office rather than an open-plan office because she can concentrate better there, then see if it is possible to move to a smaller office at the next opportunity. Or buy her a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. And if there is no budget for that, then simply pool together with colleagues and give Ms Balzer the headphones as a birthday present.

And if you know that Ms Schulz would like to develop professionally, then offer her the opportunity to look for suitable advanced training options and then to discuss them with you. As a manager, what could be better than employees who are interested in acquiring more knowledge and want to expand their skills?

There is also an interesting point regarding the simple answer ‘ask those involved’: questions are not limited to this. Employees can also talk to each other about their language of appreciation. For example, Mr Meier can simply step in when Ms Balzer goes home a little earlier because her head is spinning. Or Ms Schulz can support Mr Meier in preparing for the brainstorming session as a sounding board. Appreciation in companies does not have to be hierarchical. It can be collegial, it can be temporary.

There is a second answer to the question: Listen!

People talk about their lives. They report on weekend excursions, future holidays or the wishes of their offspring. They talk in coffee kitchens about working with other departments or being annoyed by outdated, slow software. They bridge the first few minutes until the start of a meeting by revealing things that they are dealing with or that are important to them.

Listen! And do as a friend of mine does: take notes! Nobody can remember everything, so notes are a valuable tool. For example, if you know that an employee’s partner has to undergo shoulder surgery, just ask how it went afterwards. Appreciation is shown in an infinite number of small ways. It doesn’t have to have anything to do with salary and promotions. Mindfulness, interest and understanding are all ingredients that are part of appreciation. They are part of the language you speak with those around you.

Appreciation that goes beyond the company

So you can ask questions and listen to find out the needs of employees or even colleagues. And then there is something that goes beyond the confines of your own company: appreciation of customers, partners or service providers.

Part of the DNA of companies is to make money. Much of what companies do is therefore geared towards efficiency and effectiveness. Customers and partners can usually understand this easily, especially because they themselves work in such companies. And unsurprisingly, companies think of ways to interact with their target audience as regularly as possible. Some send weekly newsletters, others questionnaires after providing a service.

I recently received such a questionnaire after attending a conference. Many participants liked the event (after each presentation, participants could leave a dot vote and the ratings on site were mostly good to very good), but I did not. So I expressed my criticism in the aforementioned questionnaire after the conference. What happened afterwards? What would you have wished for in my place? I would have wished for a conference organiser to get in touch and thank me for my feedback. Feedback helps organisations to improve. Some people even claim that negative feedback is particularly helpful because it gives you ideas about what you can do better next time. I didn’t want more attention. And what happened? Nothing! Just nothing. What was that again about the language of appreciation?

Appreciation does not stop at departmental boundaries. It also does not stop at company boundaries. It is not hierarchical, but human. And it is important. I will not go to the conference next year; why should I support organisations that do not appreciate me, my time or my thoughts?

Conclusion

Appreciation takes many forms. For it to ‘work’, it is important that everyone involved speaks the same language. Asking questions and listening are two simple but key aspects in achieving this. And appreciation works in all directions, from superiors and managers to employees, between employees and also from ‘bottom’ to top. And last but not least, it is also a factor in business life, in the interaction between companies and customers, between partners or service providers.

Notes:

[1] There is a simple trick here. Do not schedule meetings or webinars on the hour, but 5 minutes later. Instead of 1:00 p.m., schedule them at 1:05 p.m. Start on time and end on time, e.g. at 1:50 p.m., so that participants can arrive on time for their next meeting if necessary.

[2] We feel appreciation situationally and temporarily; often we are happy about a simple ‘thank you’ when we have done something for a colleague or in the course of a task for a superior. But sometimes we are also annoyed about it, for example, when the effort to complete a task or the perfection in the result is not perceived and recognised.

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Michael Schenkel has published further posts on the t2informatik Blog, including:

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