Trust destroyers in everyday management

Three hidden traps you should definitely be aware of!

The same unresolved conflicts over and over again, declining motivation and a working relationship that has come to a standstill – what is behind it?

Perhaps you have already made adjustments in the areas of communication, organisation or motivation, but the desired effect has not been achieved. Then it is worth taking a look at a factor that is often underestimated, even though it forms the basis for any successful collaboration: trust.

Trust is the invisible glue that holds teams together – or causes them to fall apart when it is lacking. Trust influences how openly people communicate, how willing they are to take responsibility, how honestly they deal with mistakes, and whether they drive innovation. And yet trust is a fragile thing: it takes time to build, but can be quickly damaged by small, often unconscious actions, trust destroyers that sneak up on you silently.

Trust within teams is not created by good intentions, but by credible behavior.

A common but overlooked cause of faltering team dynamics therefore lies in the relationship of trust, both between team members and between the manager and the team. The latter in particular deserves special attention, as you as a manager play a key role in enabling or inadvertently undermining trust.

Do your team members trust you?

Maybe you are thinking: ‘Of course my employees can trust me. I communicate honestly and clearly. I act in a trustworthy manner.’

And that’s a good start. But trust is not just about good communication or honest intentions. It is based primarily on perceived behaviour, in other words, on how your words and actions are experienced by others. And this is where the real challenge in everyday management begins: the awareness that there is sometimes a world of difference between intention and effect.

You mean well, no question about it. But how is your behavior actually received? Do your employees feel that they can make mistakes without fearing consequences? That their ideas are taken seriously, even if they are not fully developed? That you listen instead of lecturing?

Trust is not a given; it is the result of a continuous, conscious examination of one’s own role, one’s own leadership behaviour and the often hidden signals we send out. It is not enough to experience yourself as trustworthy. What matters is whether others experience you as trustworthy.

It is precisely at this point that unconscious behaviours often creep in, undermining trust in your leadership role unnoticed, even if you actually want to do everything right. These hidden trust destroyers often work subtly but with great effect and they are more widespread than many people think.

In the following, I would like to take a closer look at three of these secret trust destroyers. They may be subtle, but they have a lasting effect. And they can be recognised and avoided if you know what to look out for.

Three trust destroyers you should be aware of

1. Trust destroyer: impatience

Many managers, especially those with a solution-oriented, ‘can-do’ mindset, think and act quickly. They find answers rapidly and are often already thinking about the next task or the next meeting. However, this efficiency can become a trust destroyer if it obscures the relationship.

An example from everyday life:

An employee comes to you with a problem. You listen, but only half-heartedly because you already have the solution in mind. You may even interrupt the employee because you think you already know what she wants. This may be pragmatic for you, after all, you want to support your employee with good intentions. However, it may feel quite different to her, like a lack of appreciation or even disinterest.

If you keep behaving in this way, employees will feel as if they are not being heard or seen. This not only leads to frustration, but also to cracks in the foundation of trust, without you noticing and certainly not wanting to.

2. Trust destroyer: a lack of transparency

When employees cannot understand the reasoning behind a decision or a task, irritation arises. This irritation quickly leads to a loss of trust. After all, team members wonder, ‘Does our manager really know what they’re doing?’

An example from everyday life:

As a team leader, you inform your team that an additional task is on the agenda. It’s a task that needs to be done.

You assume that the team will complete the task, but instead, discontent spreads. Some team members roll their eyes, others seem frustrated or whisper to each other in the hallway. One even asks directly: ‘Why do we have to do this now? After all, another department has always done it before’.

The problem? The team doesn’t understand why they have to do it now. Without comprehensible reasons, employees feel treated condescendingly. This can quickly lead to mistrust, not only towards the decision, but also towards you.

It makes a big difference if your team can understand the arguments. They feel heard and taken seriously, this not only strengthens their trust in the decision, but also in you as a manager.

PS: When the reasons for such an additional task were explained in a team resilience workshop, understanding set in. The team was able to comprehend the decision. Together, they then looked for a way to integrate this task into their daily routine.

3. Trust destroyer: When distance hinders trust

It’s a fine line: how much of themselves should managers show? Some managers are very reserved when it comes to personal matters. There are good reasons for this – who knows how the team members will react? On the other hand, employees want their managers to get involved in personal matters as well. They want to experience their managers as whole people.

An example from everyday life:

A team leader is very reserved and rarely shares personal information. She is clear that her professional and private lives remain separate. This attitude is important to her.

Although she is friendly and takes her leadership role seriously, she seems rather distant to the team. A strange mood spreads through the team. The members didn’t know how to assess their manager. They got the impression that she was just putting up a façade and that nobody knew what was behind it. This led to insecurity and doubts: does she really mean well by the team? This insecurity made it difficult to build trust – an important basis for good cooperation.

It was only when the team leader recognised that more openness was needed that trust grew.

Conclusion

Team trust is not a product of chance, but the result of conscious leadership. Impatience, a lack of transparency or too much distance are three stumbling blocks that stand in the way of building trust.

By reflecting on your behavior and consciously perceiving the effect on your team, you create an atmosphere of openness and mutual respect.

Finally, I would like to extend an invitation to you as a manager: invest in trust, because it pays off in multiple ways: in the form of more satisfied employees, more team resilience and long-term success.

Three questions for reflection can help:

1. How can you respond more patiently to the concerns of your team members?
2. What can you do to explain your decisions clearly?
3. Are you willing to share personal insights to build trust?

A little tip: take one of the questions for reflection. Observe your daily leadership behaviour and change it if necessary to create more trust in your team.

Notes:

Brigitte Hettenkofer has written an interesting book in German: Team Resilienz: Das Geheimnis robuster, optimistischer und lösungsorientierter Teams. Highly recommended!

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Brigitte Hettenkofer has published two more articles in the t2informatik Blog: