Leadership under pressure: Why self-regulation is key

Why good leadership under pressure requires deliberate guidance and must sometimes be unnatural

Good leadership provides direction, enables decision-making and empowers people to take action. Its effectiveness is particularly evident in difficult situations. It transforms pressure into performance and creates the conditions that enable teams to remain functional even under high pressure. To achieve this, it combines clarity with respect, consistency with the ability to learn, and pace with a deliberate focus on the outcome.

But! This is precisely where the challenge begins, because the leader themselves is also under pressure and must be able to cope with it. Pressure activates our biological defence mechanisms. We react automatically: we fight, flee, freeze or seek safety through conformity. These spontaneous reactions mobilise energy and help us to overcome dangers.

In leadership situations, however, a different approach is often required: conscious awareness, calm deliberation, focused communication and considered action. Good leadership therefore means deliberately deviating from spontaneous impulses. In this sense, it is unnatural.

What happens inside us when we’re under pressure

Pressure alters our perception and our thinking. Our focus narrows, we react more quickly and the desire for control grows. At the same time, the body mobilises energy and prepares for immediate action.

This reaction follows ancient biological patterns. These often manifest themselves in four basic responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn.

• Fight manifests itself through toughness, raised voices, control and blame. The manager attempts to dominate the situation through force, clear instructions and dominance.
• Flight manifests itself as withdrawal. Difficult conversations are postponed, responsibility is passed on, and critical issues get lost in organisational distance.
• Freeze leads to a standstill. Further analyses, additional meetings and new rounds of consultation give the impression of activity, whilst decisions continue to be delayed.
• Fawn describes the search for security through harmony. Expectations are phrased in vague terms, conflicts are sidestepped and differing interests are hastily smoothed over.

All four patterns are human, but can have disastrous consequences in leadership situations. Loudness breeds caution, withdrawal reinforces uncertainty, endless analysis wastes time, and excessive harmony postpones necessary clarifications.

This raises the crucial question: how can leaders recognise these automatic reactions and consciously choose to act differently?

Authenticity requires professional management

Leadership under pressure begins when a leader recognises their own instinctive reaction and consciously chooses a more effective response. Even in difficult situations, they must come across as credible, demonstrate resolve and bring their personality to bear. Professional authenticity combines inner clarity with responsibility for one’s own impact.

A leader can feel anger and still remain respectful. They can feel uncertain and yet provide guidance. They can acknowledge disappointment whilst at the same time looking ahead. They can sense high pressure and consciously slow down the pace of their communication.

This is precisely where maturity is demonstrated. The leader manages their emotions in such a way that constructive action remains possible. Leadership therefore requires more than just personality. It requires self-regulation, and that can be learnt. [1]

A look at elite sport shows how this can be achieved.

What managers can learn from rugby about self-regulation

High-performance sport offers an impressive learning environment for coping with pressure. In rugby, physical intensity, high speed, complex decision-making and intense public scrutiny all come together. Players must assess the situation, make decisions and act within a matter of seconds.

Top teams therefore train not only in strength, technique and tactics, but also in how to cope mentally with pressure. For the New Zealand All Blacks, this is illustrated by the concepts of ‘Red Head’ and ‘Blue Head’ [2].

‘Red Head’ describes a state of emotional overload. Perception and action become frantic, narrow and erratic. The player reacts rather than consciously shaping the situation. ‘Blue Head’, by contrast, stands for calm, clarity and focused activity. The player remains alert, recognises options and concentrates on the next meaningful action.

The idea behind this is simple: performance under pressure is achieved through self-regulation.

Successful players repeatedly practise switching between these states. They use breathing techniques, key words, physical routines or mental imagery. Such triggers help them to quickly return to a functional state following mistakes or unexpected turns of play.

This logic can be applied to leadership. Leaders, too, need personal routines that enable them to regain their ability to act under pressure. Controlled behaviour does not mean suppressing emotions. It means consciously managing one’s own state of mind.

A controlled leader chooses their words carefully and separates observation from judgement. They recognise which message the team needs right now and which issues can be addressed later.

This creates a sense of security. Staff see a manager who conveys a sense of urgency whilst remaining capable of taking action. This allows the team to focus on tasks, decisions and collaboration. The manager safeguards the team’s ability to work by consciously managing their own impact.

The first step, therefore, is to recognise one’s own behaviour under pressure.

Recognising your own patterns and consciously changing them

Self-regulation begins with self-observation. Some people pick up the pace when under pressure. They speak more quickly, make decisions more decisively and focus more intently on the details. Others create distance or postpone decisions. Still others focus particularly strongly on relationships and seeking approval.

One’s own pattern often first manifests physically. Breathing becomes shallower, the shoulders tense up, thinking narrows, or inner restlessness increases. These signals indicate that automatic mode is taking over. This often goes unnoticed because unconscious reactions seem natural to us.

A helpful reflective question for every leader is therefore:

What happens to me when the going gets tough?

This is followed by further questions: How does my language change? Which conversations or situations do I avoid? How does my behaviour affect others? What reaction would serve the situation better?

Those who answer these questions regularly develop a personal early-warning system. This creates the conditions not only to recognise one’s own behaviour under pressure, but also to change it in a targeted way. After all, every spontaneous reaction requires a consciously practised counter-response.

• Those who tend towards ‘Fight’ can practise clarity and discipline. Expectations are formulated precisely, questions replace hasty judgements, and the tone remains calm.
• Those who recognise ‘Flight’ as a pattern can practise actively engaging with the situation. Difficult conversations are scheduled in advance, critical issues are addressed early on, and the manager remains visible.
• Those who tend towards ‘Freeze’ need decision-making routines. These include clear timeframes, defined information boundaries and the ability to distinguish between reversible and irreversible decisions.
• Those seeking security in ‘Fawn’ mode can develop backbone and the ability to handle conflict. Clear expectations, well-defined boundaries and respectful confrontation strengthen relationships in the long term.

The recognised pattern thus becomes a concrete training exercise. It is now crucial to practise these counter-strategies regularly in day-to-day leadership.

Developing self-regulation in day-to-day leadership

Self-regulation cannot be developed through insight alone. It requires specific exercises that can be integrated into day-to-day leadership.

The first tool is breathing. A calm, prolonged exhalation lowers the body’s arousal level. Even just a few conscious breaths before a difficult conversation can alter one’s perception and tone of voice.

The second lever is the question: ‘What is the next right step now?’ It shifts attention away from the problem as a whole towards a specific action and gets things moving.

The third lever concerns the pace of speech. Speaking deliberately more slowly allows you to express yourself more precisely and come across as clearer. Pauses give others the opportunity to process information and take responsibility.

The fourth lever is emotional transparency. A sentence such as ‘The situation demands it, so we’re now focusing on these three priorities’ combines honesty with direction.

The fifth lever is the ‘next job’ mindset from sport. After a mistake, there is a brief assessment. After that, attention turns to the next task. This routine conserves energy and strengthens the ability to learn.

Under pressure, people fall back on what is familiar to them. That is why new behaviours must be practised regularly. A two-week self-experiment can help to develop initial routines.

Over two weeks, high-pressure situations are briefly documented. A few minutes at the end of the day are sufficient. The reflection follows five questions:

1. What happened?
2. What did I notice physically and emotionally?
3. What spontaneous impulse arose?
4. How did I act?
5. What alternative would I like to use next time?

After two weeks, clear patterns usually become apparent. Certain triggers recur, typical reactions emerge and successful self-regulation can be identified. This can form the basis of a personal training plan.

One manager takes three conscious breaths before critical meetings. Another formulates the key message before a conflict discussion. A third sets herself a deadline for making a decision. A fourth practises expressing expectations in a clear sentence.

What matters is not the scale of the exercise, but its regular application. Small routines can have a big impact if they are practised consistently. [3]

For individual exercises to develop into lasting, effective behaviour, leadership development needs one thing above all else: practical training.

Leadership development requires practical training

Effective behaviour is developed through application, feedback and conscious training. The ability to respond well in difficult situations can also be developed. Those who understand their own patterns, recognise physical signals at an early stage and practise appropriate alternatives gain greater scope for action.

‘Fight’ can become clear decisiveness. ‘Flight’ becomes courageous dialogue. ‘Freeze’ gives way to a focused decision. ‘Fawn’ can become respectful backbone.

The training follows the same logic as in sport: a skill is explained, tried out, evaluated and applied again. With each repetition, the likelihood increases that it will remain available even in challenging situations.

To achieve this, leaders need direct feedback on their impact. How does the atmosphere change when a leader speaks more quickly? What effect does a deliberate pause have? Which phrasing provides clarity? Such observations make leadership tangible and should be specifically explored.

An important question is therefore:

Who do I trust enough to provide me with regular feedback in everyday life and help me recognise my behaviour and its impact more clearly?

Self-regulation thus ceases to be an abstract skill. Through practice, reflection and feedback, it becomes an integral part of effective leadership.

Conclusion: Good leadership begins with one’s own reaction

Leadership under pressure is not about simply acting on spontaneous reactions. It is about being aware of one’s own state of mind, assessing one’s initial impulse, and consciously deciding which behaviour is appropriate for the situation.

This is precisely why good leadership can sometimes seem unnatural. It does not automatically follow the desire for control, withdrawal, stagnation or harmony. Instead, it counters these patterns with clarity, presence, decisiveness and respectful consistency.

This can be practised. Those who understand their own reactions, recognise physical warning signs early on and practise appropriate alternatives gain room for manoeuvre even under pressure. Leadership thereby becomes calmer, more precise and more effective. Teams are given direction, decisions improve in quality, and pressure can be channelled into productive energy.

This is what matters: not letting your first impulse take the lead, but leading yourself.

Notes (mostly in German):

Would you like to improve your self-regulation under pressure? Then simply get in touch with Dr Frank Edelkraut directly on LinkedIn. Alternatively, you can also take a look at his website and the various books he has published in recent years.

[1] Calm as the foundation of operational leadership strength
[2] Red Head vs. Blue Head – When competent leaders suddenly make poor decisions
[3] Leadership reflections – An ongoing process for greater leadership impact

Incidentally, the book “Leadership vom Kopf auf die Fuesse stellen” comes highly recommended.

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